Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I need a burrito and a hug.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
