I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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