Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
