How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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