Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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