I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
