Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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