I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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