6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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