The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
