I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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