my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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