you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
