Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
