so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
