thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
