He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
