Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
