your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have post one night stand depression
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