i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
