belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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