Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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