apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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