can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
