That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
