Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
