As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
