I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
