Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
