the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
