thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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