Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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