We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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