i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The air was thick with penises
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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