I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize