she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
