Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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