I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My cat gives me a boner
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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