just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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