I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
