I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
