i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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