with your own penis?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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