Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
