You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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