You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
