So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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