Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
