I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
