naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
